February 2, 1946prev home next
For forty-eight hours I had had the presence of St. Thérèse of the Child Jesus, at once human and glorious, for she was radiant, resting on luminous little clouds, but just as she had appeared in the Lisieux cloister. She was not holding the Crucifix in her arms, but was wearing a white mantle over her brown habit. I did not see her left hand, concealed by the mantle. But I saw the right one, very beautiful - emerging downwards from her sleeve outside the mantle, slightly rolled up - holding a rose. A very lovely rose, a wonderful golden yellow, one of those somewhat overblown roses with very curly petals …[sketch] - I think they are called “hybrid” - without thorns on its dark red-green stem, stem, with dark green, shiny, soft leaves, as if made of wax. I do not know the botanical name. She was holding it so lightly between her thumb and forefinger, with the corolla and her arm extending towards the ground, that she really seemed about to drop it. I said to her, “Let go of it! A rose for me...!” She smiled, but did not speak. But it was a very light, witty, encouraging smile. She then indicated that she would speak.
By way of clarification of this dictation, I shall explain that I had been reflecting about... restrictions and subterfuges and other minor matters emerging from the letters I received from the Carmel. I was a little amazed that meditative souls could be so bridled and deaf, unable to perceive what is certain Goodness and create scruples for themselves and so on.
And St. Thérèse finally spoke:
“This is the dulling of love. It can easily arise. It is an obstacle. The origin should also be sought in the craftiness of the devil, who relies on easy scruples, fears, and the disorderly desire itself to be good to keep souls from being so in reality, to become so with the means provided by God, whether ordinary or extraordinary.
“It is a disorderly desire to want to act hastily, with means chosen by us, with the fear of not knowing how to. But let this be left to the poor worldly people, who do not know the infinite goodness, patience, and longanimity of God and the time God grants to those trusting in Him to do everything and do it well! Why be afraid if we are dealing with a Father? Why say ‘Quick, quick, or I won’t get there’ when we have a Master who knows what we must sanctify ourselves with and in and provides for this with means which are inconceivable for a creature? No, one must not act this way.
“These errors, easily arising in Catholics who are in the world, are very common in monasteries. There are so many souls and means and modes of sanctification. A single plan cannot be enough for all in the same way. The soul must be free because it has wedded the Free One. The soul must be a ‘bride’ because it is married. A woman does not marry when an infant, but when able to carry out on her own at least what is indispensable for her husband and home. Isn’t that so? Oh, it is not easy to sanctify oneself in monasteries! To save oneself remains easy. But to follow the way of Christ, entirely golden, but strewn with tribulations and red with blood and soaked with tears, is not easy. It is the way of holiness, though.
“Little sister, tell my sisters in religion to have an airy piety and obedience. They are not slaves. They are ‘brides.’ Brides are not forced into supine subjection. That is for subordinates. The brides-queens have the duty and the right to be able to comprehend and apply the voice and words of the Bridegroom and King spoken in the nuptial chamber of the spirit before every other voice. The Book of Esther describes how she, though knowing that to appear in the inner hall in the presence of the king without being summoned meant ‘death,’ appeared there. But, understanding that God was in Mordecai’s prayer, she put on the royal robes and presented herself in the inner hall, before the king, seated on the throne. And the king was pleased with the humble and yet royal bride and handed her the scepter to make her sacred in the eyes of the world, and she was so dear to him that he promised to grant her every request.153 Esther, a girl, but a bride, was able to have a subject, but also free and airy, will. Let them not lend themselves to the degrading traps of the devil, who creates scruples to impose chains.
“Oh, I was ‘the last one’ in Lisieux, and she, the great Prioress, was very powerful, and her little ‘court’ was quite faithful to her! But the air of souls and for souls was quite stagnant; the light, quite gray; and room, very limited when I entered there! Oh, it was not enough for the rebirth of souls as seraphim! I dared to provide air, light, and room - I, the ‘little one’! Not out of pride. I suffered from having to do so. But I wanted to make my soul a seraph with golden wings. It would otherwise have been useless for me to become a prisoner...! I wanted to make my soul ‘the strong one.’ For my body tuberculosis was definitely my means to go to Love. But for my soul it was not. And, out of love, which is the purpose of Christian life, I wanted for all what I wanted for myself: air, light, and room, for the wings of the seraphim on earth, in the monastery. I was the ‘tremendous little child’ who told the truth, who wanted the truth. Airy devotion is truth, whereas scrupulous devotion is not. I seemed to be made out of a strange material. But because I pleased the Lord, now those who are saved walk on my way, which appeared to be the thoughtlessness of a little child, for they become ‘like children, to whom the Kingdom of Heaven belongs.’154
“Come, little sister, let us sing our Magnificat,155 we whom God has seen in our ‘smallness’ and, accordingly, ‘has taken us to his breast, as a mother does, and given us a name better than that of sons and daughters, an eternal name which shall never perish.’ ”156
And she smiled, so luminously that she gave me a sense of ecstasy....
153 Esther 4:10-11; 5:1-8.
154 Matthew 18:2-3, 19:14; Mark 10:14-15, Luke 18:16-17.
155 Luke 1:46-55.
156 Isaiah 56:4-5.