February 20, 1946prev home next
It was 12:15 a.m., and I would have liked to be still and rest. But Azariah, my angel, appeared. I had to take the first piece of paper I could find and write as best I could, promising myself I would copy it into the notebook in the morning. And that is what I am now doing.
Azariah said:
“Tell Father this. Let him tell Dora not to repeat ever again or for any reason a subterfuge like the one she recently resorted to. She should let poor unfortunates do such things and be sincere if she wants to receive the Truth. Our Most Holy Lord Jesus was offended to the utmost by this malice and this disobedience to the Bishop, the head of the Diocese. If Dora knows that, by her own spontaneous will, she is not doing anything wrong, why is she afraid of clarification. The Bishop was within his rights in making sure, and she was obliged to obey. Why not obey in simplicity, without seeking adornments and embellishments to conceal what is essential, using deceit? There was no need to say a lot. ‘Let me be visited because I need this’ would have been enough, and she would have received a better certification in both human and supernatural terms and, above all, would not have offended the Lord with deceit and malice.
“This is not right. The intellect should be used and made to work for justice, not evil. The disturbance to which she has been subjected in recent days derives from her error. Satan benefits from it and laughs. And the Truth draws away, unable to coexist where there is the stench of Deceit. Those called to special friendships must be clean mirrors, without the slightest voluntary mist.
“Let Father make this known. And he should not go, but send someone. There is nothing else. Let us together say: ‘Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit,’ and then rest in peace.”
The archangel Raphael and Tobit.169
The archangel Raphael appeared alone to me in his sweet beauty at the moment of Communion, and I was at once overtaken by the serene joy which the “good companion” communicates. He remained present until 2:30 p.m., with no gesture other than a continuous smile and an approving nod of his head, as if he wished to tell me silently that something I was doing was fine. I did not know what, since I was writing an ordinary family letter to the Belfantis.
In short, after my final request, “But tell me what you want, since you are looking at me, smiling, and remaining silent,” he began to speak: “You have obeyed promptly and acted well. Always like that. You have helped me, and I have asked my Lord if I can take you with me, to have you repeat Tobit’s journey, at least in the points I am fondest of. You so love to see! And you so love what is beautiful! The banks of the Tigris cutting through the Assyrian countryside were very beautiful. Come with me.”
And I went with him. Oh, it wasn’t frightening. I placed my feverish hand in his strong, fresh hand and went, from time to time looking at the “good companion,” who was smiling so sweetly while showing me the beauties of nature surrounding us. A green plain, very fertile, spread out around us as far as the eye could see. The season was good - springtime, I would say, from the state of the crops, unless they sowed twice here. There was the wide river - oh, much wider than the Jordan, and with much more abundant waters, which proceeded solemnly towards the far-off sea. A very lovely country giving rest to the eyes and peace to one’s heart. Raphael looked at me and smiled, saying, “Look, look carefully. Not at me, but at everything. Here I am Azariah, the companion.” I looked, with difficulty taking my eyes off the radiant face of the archangel, and I became a spectator.... There was the archangel, with the appearance of an ordinary man, going along, speaking with Tobit, who was listening to him with deference, obedient to all of his indications. Azariah recommended that they rest, and Tobit obeyed without replying. Azariah advised the young man to bathe in the river to get some refreshment. And Tobit obeyed solicitously. And while he was in the river, the calm waters got stirred up and a fish as big as a young man popped out, trying to reach Tobit’s naked body and bite it and perhaps take it with him to the bottom and devour it. He looked like an enormous , a big salmon or sturgeon, with a big mouth furnished with three rows of teeth like needle points, a black back, and a white belly shining under the veil of waters created as he darts.
Tobit saw him so close by, set between him and the bank to shut off the way for the young man and howled, seized by terror, “Oh, my Lord, a monster is attacking me!” Azariah, sitting on the grassy bank, leapt up and shouted, “Don’t be afraid! Grab him by the gills, keeping behind him, and pull him towards you. That’s it! Now he’s turned around!” Indeed, the beast, on hearing another voice and the rustling of the willows displaced by Azariah - who, taking off his shoes and socks, went down into the river, ready to come to the aid of his companion - turned around, rotating his round, cold, impenetrable, cruel fish eyes. And Tobit gripped him by the gills and pulled him, withstanding the blows from the tail and the jerking with which the fish tried to get free. Tobit walked backwards, pulling and pulling, digging his feet into the pebbly shore of the river, which got lower and lower, already disclosing the first aquatic grasses and turning into slippery mire. How tiring was the last stretch of the way!
The fish made a superhuman effort to get free, to save himself. The young man made a superhuman effort to hold on to him. Tobit was about to exhaust his strength! His hand slipped wearily over the left gill, and his foot slipped in the slime. The fish grasped the weariness of his capturer and launched such a desperate blow of his tail that Tobit lost his balance and fell, still trying to grip the fish; the latter, though nearly on dry land, tried to work prodigies to complete his victory. But Azariah caught him by the forked tail, immobilizing him until Tobit got up, seized him again, and dragged him, now sure of himself, onto the sand, no longer miry, where one’s foot can dig in and withstand.
The fish gasped for air, quivered... and died.
“Take the knife and gut him. Remove the heart, liver, and gall and keep them in that little leather bag. We’ll always find drinking water without taking it with us. The heart, liver, and gall are useful. Wonderful medicines. I’ll tell you how to use them. And now let’s cook the fish. It will be a viaticum for us on our own.” A fire of twigs roasted the substance of the fish, cut into thick slices, which the two consumed with a good appetite, afterwards placing the leftovers in their knapsacks, separating the slices with large leaves sprinkled with salt.
And then they resumed their journey, in great friendship, and Azariah taught and explained many things, including - when asked by Tobit about what the fisk’s entrails were good for - the explanation found in the Bible.170
“Really?” Tobit asked in astonishment. “Oh, if only it were true! To restore my father’s lost sight!”
“That’s the way it is. But first you could receive other gifts of wealth and love...,” Azariah prodded to test his companion’s spirit.
“Oh no! Oh no! I I’m in a hurry about my father! I... am always fine. Let us do what we have to in a rush, for if before I felt an urge to go back, now it’s even stronger. Since what’s awaiting me is not only the joy of my father’s embrace, but the joy of giving light back to his darkened eyes.”
“You believe my word. And if what I’m saying weren’t true, young man?” Azariah tempted him.
“Oh no! Your face is transparent and serene. You speak of God with such peace. Only a saint can be the way you are, and saints do not lie. I have faith in you.” Azariah smiled luminously.
“Where shall we lodge?” asked Azariah.
< And the archangel spoke to him of Sarah of Raguel, just as the Bible171 relates... with the counsels to wed and free her, without fear, from every demon. And I saw the entrance to Raguel’s house and the recognition and the wedding of the virgin widow with the good Tobit. And the night was so very sweet - or, rather, the nuptial nights - after the demon had been overcome and relegated to another place, when the virgin spouses united themselves to God in prayer before becoming a single flesh.... > And, with this sweetness, the vision faded out, and I again found myself with Raphael, who said:
“Tobit received more than he had desired because he was obedient and faithful. But I am the one who heal and teach people to heal from Satanic treachery. For this reason I was designated to look after that soul who is unspeakably tormented by a demon who hates her and who needs a great deal of help to be freed from the enemy persecuting her. But it is very painful not to find perfect submission in her, like young Tobit’s. He overcame because he was docile and obedient, grateful to God, whose goodness he celebrated with a sincere, humble spirit. For it is a good thing to keep the king’s secret hidden and not to get puffed up about it, but to publish the works of God, not with words, but with increasingly manifest holiness not contaminated by human wretchedness is a very good thing. Temptation is a trial, not damnation, if one is able to resist it. Afterwards people are pleasing to the Lord. But it is necessary to be vigilant and persevere until the final hour, and with keen wariness, in all things.
“As for you, do not be afraid, for if I have been with you, if I now am, it is because God sends me to bring you the light and the peace of the heavens. I shall not go back to where my Lord sends me, and may the peace I wish you always be with you.”
And, from the point indicated with < to the point indicated with >, I had to abbreviate because there was a visit from the lawyer, and I was caught between two fires and could not understand the man or literally recall what the archangel was saying to illustrate the operations of obedience and prayer in overcoming Satan, present in infirmity, traps, and misfortunes to disturb and bring people to despair and also present in the circumstances of extraordinary graces, with the intention of triggering acts of pride and self-complacency which would disturb their hearts, separating them from God. I remember all of this, but I would say it with my own words. For I keep the fruit and let the rest go. I remember the sentence: “If you had been satisfied with yourself, I would have abandoned you. Because you were humble, I protected you until the end.” The other words... have disappeared. And I suffer so when this happens to me....
In addition, I distinctly remember that the archangel told me at the beginning of his closing statement: “This vision is for you, entirely for you. It should not be communicated to Dora172 because this is the will of the Lord. She must be unaware of what you see. If she so deserves, she shall see. But she must not have cross-stitch canvases with designs so as to weave over them with her own thread. To each his own.” As regards me, she will never receive anything, and, God willing, may there never be anyone who provides it, more or less knowingly contravening God’s prudence and order.173
169 Tobit 6.
170 Tobit 6:7-9.
171 Tobit 6:10-18.
172 See note 121.
173 We pass over ninety-six handwritten pages, written between February 21 and March 12, 1946, containing ten episodes from The Third Year of the Public Life.