May 26, 1946prev home
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Fifth Sunday after Easter
Azariah’s explanation, which would certainly come, was preceded on this Sunday by the smile of Mary Immaculate, for she appeared in a white robe as in the apparitions at Lourdes and Fatima, but without a blue sash or gold cord: a simple cord as white as the robe kept it gathered in at her waist, and the gentle gold of her hair was visible, since she wore neither a veil nor a mantle. She was the Sweet One robed in white, as she often was in the summers at Nazareth. It was just that her robe now shone more than all earthly cloth and looked like truly heavenly linen. She had been comforting me and smiling at me since last night, and in my pains impeding all sleep - which would have been an escape for a few hours from the excessive number of afflictions oppressing me - I found her to be ever present every time I emerged from an interrupted drowsiness, which was the only repose for my weary, exhausted flesh, which could not truly rest in real sleep. Her whiteness, the white emanation of her glorified Body, and the ineffable expression on her Face beamed like a star into the dark room and into my afflicted heart. The night went by like that, and the gentle Mother was still here in the morning and then in the succeeding hours of the day. Alone with Her, I venerated Her with the silent words of the spirit and asked for nothing because I knew She knew everything, because I knew She was here to console me and it was not necessary for me to ask because the Mother anticipated every request by those She knew to be her children.... With those thoughts I spent the hours.
Many will say, “I would have asked for this or that.” If there is a latent request in me, I can have only this one: “Do whatever you know is best.” I do not ask for anything at all for myself. God knows what is best. Mary knows what is best. I thus say to both of them, “Do what is best....” And there is utter peace. A peace floating above all that men unleash with their wickedness, selfishness, vileness, deceit, and similar ugly manifestations, blowing these elements onto the little sea of my spirit, which on its own is calm, for it reflects Heaven. I wondered, “What punishment will those disturbing the spirits devoted entirely to the service of the Lord receive?”
And the Most Pure Mother replied:
“The one Jesus has explained to you in many dictations, which, in your case, you have already seen taking place on several occasions. For it is useless to give other names to what is happening to one person or another - those who have not fulfilled their mission towards you or have caused you pain and disturbance. The name is the one you know.
“My daughter, do you remember that hour of sad peace in which I appeared to you in the habit of a Servite and drew you to me, under the black mantle, to protect you while I prayed, looking towards the north?236 I shall,now explain to you the meaning of that prophetic vision.
“My Son - and I cannot explain the reasons to you at this moment - had placed you under the protection of the Servants of Mary because you cannot remain alone, my daughter, with your great treasure. The Eternal had also given me the protection of a husband - useless for procreating, but necessary for safeguarding - when the Treasure of heaven and the world was about to descend into me. My Divine Maternity could certainly have been fulfilled even without Joseph. But, because of the scandal of an unmarried woman having a child, the signal which this maternity in an innocent woman would have given to that untiring scrutinizer of souls who is Satan, and, finally, a child’s need for a father as a protector, Most Holy Wisdom imposed a husband on me. All of the abovementioned reasons were illustrated from the moment the Holy Spirit infused Himself into me, making me the Mother. I then comprehended the justice of my marriage, which until that point I had accepted out of obedience.
“Well then, my daughter, Jesus had also given you protection. That protection. Do not try to know why it was that and not another. That would amount to trying to find out why the twelfth apostle was Judas Iscariot and not one of the holy and humble shepherds, for instance. Well then, I received you under the black mantle of a Servite - I, who was crying in that habit because I saw (and you can understand where I was looking) that my Jesus’ decrees concerning the Work, the instrument, and the way both should be treated were being disobeyed excessively So that you would not feel too much emptiness in the place where, for a special and always adorable reason, my Jesus had set you, to make you feel the full protection of the Queen of the Order and her children in this Order, who through a perfect life are with me in Heaven, I drew you to myself, over my heart, protected by my mantle while I wept for those who were failing to carry out their task.
“But, O daughter of mine, do not be disconsolate. Remember your Mother in this circumstance, too. How much you resemble your Mother when, a stranger in Bethlehem and bearing the Incarnate Word, she knocked in vain at the doors, asking for help, shelter, and mercy! Mercy more for the Word she bore than for herself, a poor woman weighed down by maternity and weary from the long journey.... Our John tells the great truth about these acts of rejection, this deafness as regards understanding, and this lukewarmness or coldness in receiving the Word: ‘The Word, the Light, shone in the darkness, but the darkness did not grasp it. The Word, the true Light, was in the world, but the world did not recognize it. He came to his home, and his own did not receive Him.’237 And in order not to receive Him they also rejected the Woman bearing Him, who, in the eyes of Israel, was just a poor woman to whom “it was impossible that God could have offered Himself.” She was thus a trickster and a liar seeking undeserved protection and honors through deceit.
“It is always like that, beloved daughter. We are disliked, persecuted, mocked, and misunderstood because we bear the Word that the world does not want to receive. And we wearily and sorrowfully go from heart to heart, asking, ‘Out of mercy, receive us! Mercy on yourselves. Not on us. For we, in this gift we bear, have our weight, it is true, our cross as creatures, but also our peace and glory as spirits, and we ask for no more. But we are solicitous and concerned about the Word, the Word we bring you to be given, for it is Life, to those for whom it has been deposited in us....’ After the glory of the Lord had been manifested in the Resurrection and his Doctrine had been disseminated in the world, how many in Bethlehem would not have wished to have received the Bearer of the Word on that cold night in Casleu in order to say, ‘We recognized her.’ But it was then too late! God’s moment comes and goes. And belated regret does not make amends for the mistake. The person responsible should be reminded of this.
“But do not be afflicted. In the eyes of God you are justified, just as I was in giving birth to the King of kings in a foul-smelling cavern. We are not to blame for not giving due honor to the Word issuing forth, but those who keep us from honoring Him publicly. The incense of our loving, secret adoration is sufficient to replace every other honor which we are prevented from giving the Word deposited in us. Smile, my daughter, and hope, remembering that the Almighty can raise up children of Abraham even from the stones and will not leave you without priestly comfort and guidance, raising up the person responsible for this duty, just as, at exactly the right moment, He granted you the angelic teacher for your increased comfort....”
And Mary Most Holy shone more gloriously and sweetly than ever while receiving the angelic greeting of Azariah, whose luminous presence seemed tenuous when compared to the most luminous Virgin. And Azariah spoke, remaining on his knees with his arms crossed over his chest and his head bowing low, in front of Mary, as if in front of an altar.238
236 See the entry for October 15 in The Notebooks. 1944.
237 John 1:5 and 1:9-11
238 We omit almost ten handwritten pages containing Azariah’s commentary on the Mass for the Fifth Sunday after Easter.